And the first job offer is in!
Yes.
Finally someone does not find me too dirty to serve food, too ugly to sell beer or too stupid to park FUCKING CARS...
Obviously I turned the job down. Hell, I ain't no slut. I don't bed the first guy to offer me a job. Fuck that.
Obviously there are real reasons for turning down a job, but they are both boring and mundane. Needless to say though, to cut a long story short, I can no longer prance about on bare feet, I'm not fit enough to do a Kata and a job which only offers commission is too much of a risk. And I'm not in the business of taking risks.
Well, I want to waste a few seconds and point my finger at Israel and shout: "YOU BUNCH OF FUCKING U.S. PAID AND SPONSORED TOSSERS!"
It is probably true that oppression doesn't make one more humanitarian, just better at oppressing, but I believe it also seems to defecate on rationality and force governments to make stupid decisions which inevevitably will only make matters worse.
And obviously it's the poor, the meek and the children who suffer.
This afternoon I have a job interview at Subway's. It's a sandwich restuarant.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm sure making sandwiches is a difficult enough job as it is, and I'm equally sure that it's made even harder because you have to talk to customers (and handle money!) at the same time...but...but, I really, really feel I have the skills and requirements to make those fucking sandwiches work! I seriously do. No, I don't have motivational issues on the subject of food preperation.
I'd like to take a moment to congradulate Zidane, the French footballer. He is an artist on the field and even his headbutt was beautiful and gracious in a slightly deserved sort of a way. He's now officially, by my reckoning, up there with the best of them: God (although some call him Maradona) and Pele.
The search for Robbie continues and I have a gutsy feeling that this phoning malarky is getting me nowhere and delivering me there fast. Nothing really much to write about, besides this one lady (the same one as in the last post) threatening to call the police if I kept stalking her.
I did tell her it wasn't her I was after, but her husband. That didn't go down as I intended either and I hung up before things got well out of hand.
And I'd like to thank my sister and her boyfriend who sent me a giant cuddly rat to catch fleas with. A financial donation would have been more appreciated, but hey, beggers can't be choosers. Naturally I will return the giant rat once its stuffed insides are crawling with critters.
I guess the last thing on todays agenda is my weight.
Holy fuck, I swear to God (could be Maradona, could be Jesus...one can never be too sure with these heavenly creatures) that for someone who's running out of money I do seem to be getting rather fat.
And I know what it is!
Cheap food makes you fat.
So, it's alright to consume steak, salmon pate and Bordeaux. It's not okay, though, to stuff your face with chips, crisps and McDonalds super-sized meals.
Funny how expensive fat is good for you and cheap fat is not. One could, however, argue that the cheaper fat is a better investment for when my bank account gasps its dying breath, for then I will have more reserves to live off...
Finally someone does not find me too dirty to serve food, too ugly to sell beer or too stupid to park FUCKING CARS...
Obviously I turned the job down. Hell, I ain't no slut. I don't bed the first guy to offer me a job. Fuck that.
Obviously there are real reasons for turning down a job, but they are both boring and mundane. Needless to say though, to cut a long story short, I can no longer prance about on bare feet, I'm not fit enough to do a Kata and a job which only offers commission is too much of a risk. And I'm not in the business of taking risks.
Well, I want to waste a few seconds and point my finger at Israel and shout: "YOU BUNCH OF FUCKING U.S. PAID AND SPONSORED TOSSERS!"
It is probably true that oppression doesn't make one more humanitarian, just better at oppressing, but I believe it also seems to defecate on rationality and force governments to make stupid decisions which inevevitably will only make matters worse.
And obviously it's the poor, the meek and the children who suffer.
This afternoon I have a job interview at Subway's. It's a sandwich restuarant.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm sure making sandwiches is a difficult enough job as it is, and I'm equally sure that it's made even harder because you have to talk to customers (and handle money!) at the same time...but...but, I really, really feel I have the skills and requirements to make those fucking sandwiches work! I seriously do. No, I don't have motivational issues on the subject of food preperation.
I'd like to take a moment to congradulate Zidane, the French footballer. He is an artist on the field and even his headbutt was beautiful and gracious in a slightly deserved sort of a way. He's now officially, by my reckoning, up there with the best of them: God (although some call him Maradona) and Pele.
The search for Robbie continues and I have a gutsy feeling that this phoning malarky is getting me nowhere and delivering me there fast. Nothing really much to write about, besides this one lady (the same one as in the last post) threatening to call the police if I kept stalking her.
I did tell her it wasn't her I was after, but her husband. That didn't go down as I intended either and I hung up before things got well out of hand.
And I'd like to thank my sister and her boyfriend who sent me a giant cuddly rat to catch fleas with. A financial donation would have been more appreciated, but hey, beggers can't be choosers. Naturally I will return the giant rat once its stuffed insides are crawling with critters.
I guess the last thing on todays agenda is my weight.
Holy fuck, I swear to God (could be Maradona, could be Jesus...one can never be too sure with these heavenly creatures) that for someone who's running out of money I do seem to be getting rather fat.
And I know what it is!
Cheap food makes you fat.
So, it's alright to consume steak, salmon pate and Bordeaux. It's not okay, though, to stuff your face with chips, crisps and McDonalds super-sized meals.
Funny how expensive fat is good for you and cheap fat is not. One could, however, argue that the cheaper fat is a better investment for when my bank account gasps its dying breath, for then I will have more reserves to live off...
posted by Mark at 11:49 AM
13 Comments:
Why the hell are you supersizing your MacDonald's when you are A)on a severe budget and B)admittedly starting to pork out a bit?
As for Subways, I don't know if they show the commercials over here, but Jared lost 250 pounds eating two subway sandwiches a day and then got to be an official spokesman for the company. If you lose 300 maybe you can bump him out of his job AND make it into showbiz. Heck, you even have prior acting experience on your resume now!
I wonder if you get free food if you're employed by Subways?
That would be nice.
I don't think I could whore myself commercially to sell sandwiches if I was rich. I'd just feel so cheap.
Which, incidently, I do now...what with all this begging for employment and everything.
GRRRRRR
Mark
Why don't you apply for a proper job ? One you're suited for ? Fuck man...SUBWAYS , do you think you will really last longer than a week in a shithole like that ? Customers complaining about the way you said hello , the change you give them, the coffee being too cold , the coffee being too old , the coffee being too hot, the sandwiches being too old , the sandwiches being too small, the sandwiches being too expensive, the orange juice not being fresh enough......and sooooo on. I give you 3 days, before you burst out and raise hell, drag some old nagger over the counter and get sacked or leave on your own request.
You sure know how to cheer me up...
Mark
Subways?? Might as well be McDonalds...At least you get more variety at McDonalds, you can either toss the fries or flip the burgers. At Subways I believe you're only given your own salad section - are you thinking of starting at Subways and working your way up to the challenging role McDonalds offers its new recruits.
Why not apply to become a mystery shopper..at least that way someone will want to listen to your over inflated, high opiniated, hypocritical blabberings that seem to constitute the majority of this rather mundane blog.
Please please please hurry up and find Robbie Howett!!
You must be a fan!
Wow, how very cool to be critical and remain anonymous. He/she probably works for Burger King or something equivalent.
To become a popular writer one should have fans as well as enemies....you have succeeded in finding enemies.
Thank you Profoundo. That sounds like some old Chinese proverb!
While you are out: The dude is in love
The dude is still in love.!.!.! the rays of sunshine are even stronger now that I have come across this message of joy. There is a god !
The dude's in love; don't it just make you all pink and fuzzy!!
Congrats! :)
ha what you guys don't know is that the dude already went on with his love fest for weeks now and he's going all fuzzy and fluffy. Dude I have a shitload of American candy for you to share with your new love on shenanigan nights, it won't even make you fart.
Marky Mark, subways...just one word...nasty. I saw some fat American here eating a whole box of subway...basically it was crisps but they called it Subway. Nasty.
don't
do
it
why don't you become a stock broker? HA!
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